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The Blob VS Snorlax
Description Ever found yourself so fat that your very body could be used as a weapon? No? Well, tell that to these two fatties with enormous, no pun intended, body power! Will the fattest man in Marvel Comics reign supreme? Or will the Sleeping Pokemon snatch victory away with a snore? Pre-Interlude Kurai: Huh. Wonder what's taking Eigo so long. Kurai glances to the clock and sees that it's been half an hour since she first arrived. She gets up and prepares to leave when someone steps into the recording booth. Hoping that it's her 'brother', she instead finds that it's Wiz, with a cup of coffee in his mechanical hand. Kurai: Wiz? Wiz: Oh, hey there. What're you doing here? Kurai: It's me and my brother's turn to host DEATH BATTLE. Wiz: Since when did we have a hosting schedule? Kurai: Since Boomstick placed THAT there. She points to the piece of paper attached to the wall. On it was an actual schedule, showcasing when and who's shift would be next after each episode. Kurai and Eigo's names were attached to the battle listed as: The Blob vs Snorlax (Marvel vs Pokemon). Wiz: Huh. I thought I was gonna host toda- Suddenly the phone nearby buzzes to life with the voice of his co-host. Boomstick: Hey. Sooooo... I'm not gonna be here today. Wiz: Why no- Boomstick: K, bye! The call closed, only for it to buzz to life once more, this time with the voice of Eigo. Eigo: Hello? Kurai: Eigo? Where are you? We've got a DEATH BATTLE to record today! Eigo: Yeah, about that, I'm gonna be a bit late on schedule. Me and our friends are in the middle of fighting a horde of gargoyles! Kurai: Gargoyles? Seriously? Eigo: Hey, hey! They're actually tough, okay?! Anyways, I'm come by later, farewell! The call closes. An awkward silence follows, which is broken when Wiz speaks up. Wiz: Well... I guess we're hosting today. Kurai: Right... The Interlude (Plays Invader - DEATH BATTLE!!! Theme) Wiz: In human anatomy, much of the body is made up of bones, muscles... Kurai: And arguably the most common: Fat! And today we have two of the fattest characters to ever grace pop culture! Wiz: The Blob, the X-Men's monstrous mountain of gluttony! Kurai: And Snorlax, the road-blocking 'Sleeping Pokemon'! He's Wiz and I'm Kurai! Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armour and skills to see who would win... A DEATH BATTLE!!! The Blob (Plays Track 1) Wiz: Since their inception in Marvel Comics, the X-Men have made many friends and many more enemies. From the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants to even the Avengers, the mutant superheroes always had it rough. Kurai: But if there's one opponent that's proven to be a painful thorn in their side, it's Frederick J. Dukes, also known as: The Blob. Bio: TBC Wiz: You'd think an unstoppable mutant with anti-psionic shields or a shapeshifting mutant with a nigh-alien appearance would completely overshadow more minor mutants enemies for the X-Men, but The Blob has made quite a name for himself even amongst these more memorable villains. Frederick's mutant powers came to life when he reached puberty. Kurai: Like many other mutants, Dukes believed he was a freak and his short-temper and lack of rationality only strengthened that belief. He thought he was just, in his own words, "an extra-strong freak" and joined a circus willingly. Kurai: But The Blob has shouldered his way into the X-Men's list of baddies by just being plain... annoying! Wiz: As a mutant, The Blob possesses a special ability, much like all other mutants. Abilities: '' ''Mass Shifting Recoil Redirection Fat Trapping Physical Pain Ignorance Immovability AKA Not Giving Two F**ks Kurai: His fat body is so thick that physical damage is rendered useless; this makes him a hard counter to many of the Marvel Universe's close-combat experts like Wolverine and Deadpool, as not even bullets can pierce his skin. Wiz: Speaking of which, his flubber is astonishingly flexible and is like rubber, if rubber was also 100 times more tensile. It can block most physical attacks with no repercussion, even if it's a bullet! Kurai: As if that's the most threatening about his fat! If denying physical damage isn't enough, it can send any attacks taken right back with half of the recoil and impact force, effectively making him a punching bag that punches back. Wiz: His fat is so thick that he can't even feel pain! While we could just leave it at comic book physics, there's actually a scientific explanation for it. His fat prevents his nerve endings from carrying any tactile perception to his brain. Kurai: So it isn't even his mutant ability doing that? Wiz: Nope! It's science! Kurai: Huh. Neat. Wiz: Neat? More like disgustingly-effective. By utilizing his fat and concentrating, Dukes can trap enemies inside his fat and leave them inside for however long he wants to. He can do this to anything, so long as it isn't as big as or bigger than him. But since most of the Marvel Universe's heroes and villains are men in armour, women in leotards and etc, The Blob has plenty of unwilling and unlucky victims to encase inside... uh... himself. (Plays Track 2) Kurai: Ugh... Moving on...! There's just one more ability that makes The Blob an incredible physical threat: the fact that he doesn't give two damns about being attacked! Wiz: Uh... well in reality, it's called Mass Allocatio- Kurai: Mass Allocation, we get it, you like science. Anyways, we can simplify Wiz's brainy statement there into mere immovability. To sum it up, the guy won't move no matter what's hitting him, whether it's a punch from Wolverine or a missile to the chest. Wiz: And being a mutant gives him more powers and physical traits; it gives him superhuman durability and increases his physique even though it's evident that Dukes doesn't do any exercise or training. Kurai: Half-right, half-wrong there, Wiz. After training with Onslaught and some guy named Sledge, The Blob learned how to shift his own mass into his body parts, making them stronger by the power of fat! Gosh, that sounds so cool to have! You think I can achieve this power, Wiz? Wiz: Um, there's just one glaring fault: you're not fat. Kurai: Hmph...! Way to kill my dreams...! Wiz: Regardless of the demon lady with aspirations to be fat inside this recording booth, The Blob has snagged plenty of victories over the course of his mutant life. Feats: Fat can deflect, reflect and tank rifle bullets, missiles and superhuman punches with ease Battled the X-Men on more than one occasion '' ''Survived a meteor falling on him and a collision from a bus Joined Freedom Force, Brotherhood of Evil Mutants, X-Cell and X-Corps Cannibalized Wasp (Not Earth-616 Blob) Came close to brutally murdering Hellcat Kurai: Being a very frequent member of many villainous teams, the most prominent of all being the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants, The Blob has faced up against both superheroes like the X-Men and super villains like the Trask Sentinels. Wiz: His fat has been able to bounce back projectiles ranging from rifle rounds to whole torpedoes! TBC (Plays Final Track for The Blob) Snorlax (Plays Track 1) Wiz: The Kanto Region is full of strange creatures called 'Pokemon'; ranging from four-armed brutes to water serpents that ravage entire cities, Pokemon happily enjoy company with their human companions and vice versa. Kurai: Pokemon can provide so many services, such as medical assistance, constructing buildings and the most famed of all, battling! Wiz: Pokemon Battles are what they are: A battle between two Pokemon Trainers and their respective parties of Pokemon! So famous are they, that Regions even have Pokemon Gyms and their own Pokemon Leagues, where only the strongest of Trainers go out to overcome. Kurai: Any Pokemon can be used for battling, but when it comes to the big guns, no other Pokemon brings out the big, than Kanto's 'Sleeping Pokemon', Snorlax. Bio: Pokedex Entry: No. 143, the 'Sleeping Pokemon' Weight: 1014.1 Ibs (460.0 KG) Height: 6'11" '' ''Type: Normal Eats as much food as it's own weight, can even eat while it's sleeping and can eat poisonous food as though it were normal Will be grumpy when awakened "My favourite Pokemon!" - TheOneLegend Wiz: Snorlax is what you would call a living mountain of fat. This monstrosity is the definition of gluttony. Kurai: It's my brother's favourite Pokemon! Wiz: Wait, really? I expected his favourite Pokemon to be Salamence or Metagross, not Snorlax. Kurai: Hard to believe, ain't it? Anyways, Snorlax are very uncommon due to their sheer size and inconvenient snoring. Except in the Kalos Region, where there's a village that commemorates the 'Sleeping Pokemons'. Yes, that's right. There's A LOT of them globally in the Pokemon world. Wiz: Catching one is no easy task either, as it's obvious that Snorlax's greatest strength is in physical combat. This behemoth has ungodly numbers in it's Attack, Health and Special Defense stats, easily rounding it to be a Special Attack wall. Kurai: Yup! Snorlax may not look intimidating, but it's power and abilities are more than enough to please even veteran Pokemon Trainers, made even better by his sensibly-ridiculous abilities! Stats: Health: 160 (Max: 524, Min: 430) Attack: 110 (Max: 350, Min: 202) Defense: 65 (Max: 251, Min: 121) Special Attack: 65 (Max: 251, Min: 121) Special Defense: 110 (Max: 350, Min: 121) Speed: 30 (Max: 174, Min: 58) Abilities: Thick Fat: Halves damage received from fire and ice-based attacks by 50% Immunity: Can't be poisoned Gluttony (Hidden Ability): Will eat berries earlier than usual Available Moves (Without TMs): Attack(s): Tackle, Lick, Chip Away, Body Slam, Giga Impact, Rollout, Crunch, Heavy Slam, High Horsepower Special Attack(s): Snore Boosts and Status Move(s): Defense Curl, Amnesia, Yawn, Rest, Sleep Talk, Block, Belly Drum Wiz: We will only be using a natural Snorlax's level-up move list, as Technical Machines, or TMs for short, are given to Pokemon by their Trainers. Even without having access to moves like Earthquake and Protect, Snorlax is devastating in close combat, with moves like Tackle and High Horsepower hitting for tons of damage. Kurai: With Lick and Body Slam, Snorlax has a chance of paralyzing his enemies; with Crunch, they can lower an adversary's Defense stat and with Chip Away, they can strike past a physically more durable opponent's Defenses all together! Wiz: Rollout is a Rock-Type attack that grows stronger if Snorlax uses it over and over, attacking those unlucky enough to be caught in the way like a rampaging boulder. Heavy Slam is a Steel-Type move that utilizes Snorlax's own weight to squash the competition. The lighter the opponent, the more damage dealt to them. High Horsepower is a Ground-Type move with good damage and is pretty handy for taking down any Rock or Steel-Type Pokemon. (Plays Track 2) Kurai: But all of that pales in comparison to this fatty's strongest move: Giga Impact! Working like the physical version of Hyper Beam, Giga Impact is a hard-hitting attack that requires the user to rest a moment before taking anymore actions. But this Normal-Type Pokemon isn't just limited to his physical strengths to breeze through battles; they have plenty of other options to use in battle, other than attacking and defending. Wiz: With Defense Curl and Amnesia, Snorlax can increase it's Defense and Special Defense stats respectively, reinforcing it's massive Health stat with bulkier defenses. With Rest, Snorlax can purposefully take a nap, regenerating any health lost as well as healing itself of any status ailments it may had suffered during the course of a battle. Kurai: Block is what it is; Snorlax prevents their opponents' escape using it's body. Yawn can put enemies to sleep and with Belly Drum, Snorlax sacrifices some of it's own health to maximize it's physical strength potential. And while taking nap to heal itself in the middle of a battle may be dangerous, Snorlax has access to Sleep Talk and Snore, with the former able to allow Snorlax to subconsciously use a random move while asleep and the latter being it's only naturally-learned Special Attack, which has a chance to make enemies flinch! Wiz: Combined, these moves make for a unsuspectingly-powerful Pokemon to go up against, especially since most wild Snorlax spend their time sleeping, eating or, in the Kanto and Kalos' regions' cases, block bridges and pathways. A trained one may be more disciplined and may have access to a wider plethora of moves, but wild Snorlax are nonetheless ferocious and must be fought against with caution. Pros: Excels in the Attack, Special Defense and Health stats A Special Attack Wall (Special Attack-based Pokemon will have a hard time fighting a Snorlax) In the Kalos Region, Snorlax can eat through a whole field's worth of roots in a single day One Snorlax in the Kanto Region is a strong swimmer Ash's Snorlax has taken down trained Pokemon, such as Poliwrath, Machamp, Kingdra, Steelix, Arcanine, Nidoqueen, Hypno and Feraligatr Ash's Snorlax also overpowered a giant Rhydon with Mega Punch and defeated Team Rocket several times. It also tipped over a Team Rocket Mech while asleep Kurai: Let's not forget that Snorlax, whether trained or wild, has it's fair share of battle-changing abilities, one of the most crucial of them all being Thick Fat, an ability that decreases damage taken by Fire and Ice-Type attacks. This compliments Snorlax's Special Defense stat very nicely, making him nigh-impenetrable by Special Attack-based Pokemon like Charizard and Froslass. Wiz: Gluttony makes Snorlax eat any berries faster and Immunity makes them indifferent to poisons. It's no surprise given these abilities and moves that Snorlax can accomplish many great things; Ash Ketchum's Snorlax was able to knock out several trained Pokemon, a bunch of which had a Type advantage over the 'Sleeping Pokemon', Poliwrath and Machamp, and Machamp are said to be able to throw with the strength to send someone over the horizon and being able to punch 1000 times in 2 seconds! Kurai: A Snorlax in the Kalos Region can eat through a field of dry roots like a hungry lawnmower, though this is happily accepted by the people since it helps the roots grow back more fresh and more populous. There's even a Snorlax in the Kanto Region that's an adept swimmer and it would've eaten through an entire fruit orchard had Ash Ketchum and his friends not stop it. Wiz: Speaking of stopping, Snorlax may be a powerhouse, but much like every other Pokemon, it has it's flaws. (Plays Final Track for Snorlax) Cons: Poor Defense and Speed can be exploited Lazy and almost single-minded Wild Pokemon can't be compared to Trained Pokemon when it comes to battling Strategy can beat any Pokemon, including Snorlax Keeps blocking off bridges and pathways Kurai: Snorlax IS still a Pokemon, and thus it has a Type; for Snorlax it's a Normal-Type Pokemon, so a Fighting-Type Pokemon would be super effective against it and Ghost-Type Pokemon would have little-to-no affect on it. Wiz: Really, it's the Fighting-Type weakness that really buckles Snorlax down, as most Fighting-Type moves are Physical, which means they contest against the Defense stat, a stat that Snorlax is infamous for being lacklustre. It's poor Speed makes it even worse, as fast Fighting-Type Pokemon like Blaziken and Hawlucha can easily KO a Snorlax without much resistance. Kurai: It doesn't help that wild Snorlax are very VERY lazy and have only two things on their mind: eating and sleeping. This can sometimes make them hard to properly train as they wouldn't be able to focus on anything else, even in the heat of the moment. Wiz: But without a doubt, Snorlax is a behemoth of battle. Generation 1 fans, and your brother, are certainly pleased that such a Pokemon was first introduced in Red and Blue! Snorlax: Snor-LAX!!! Pre-Battle (Plays Invader - DEATH BATTLE! Theme again) The BATTLE The Result The winner is... RANDOM VOTING POLL! Who (in your opinion) do you think will win? The Blob (Marvel/X-Men) Snorlax (Pokemon) Next Time! [http://deathbattlefanon.wikia.com/wiki/Adam_Jensen_vs_Motoko_Kusanagi West and East clash of cybernetic enforcers!] Category:Death Battles by 2 Different Series Category:Death Battles by 2 Different Companies Category:'East vs West' themed Death Battles Category:Human vs Creature themed DEATH BATTLEs Category:'Monster vs Human' Themed Death Battles Category:'Size' Themed Death Battles Category:What-If? Death Battles Category:Adopted What-If? 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